How can our families harm us when they love us? Very easily, unfortunately. Most of us overlook one important fact when we think love is enough: Love and respect aren't the same thing.
Love is fusion. As a baby, you belong to your parents, you're an extension of them; and fusion is good for the survival of infants. Respect is differentiation: you belong to yourself, and you're an extension of no one. Differentiation is essential for the happiness of adults.
-- Barbara Sher
I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was