Saturday, March 28, 2015

Bullying serves a purpose

In recent years there's been a lot of awareness raised about bullying and abuse. Many voices are saying they want to put an end to the cultural acceptance of bullying and create instead a culture in which everyone feels safe and respected.

I wonder if that's really what everyone wants.

Bullying involves keeping people feeling powerless, afraid, intimidated, and lying low in hopes of avoiding being targeted. Such people are much easier to control than people who feel fundamentally confident, strong, secure, and safe. If some people have a vested interest in maintaining that culture of fear and control, they will not support efforts to transform that culture into one of safety and respect.

Think about it.

All through my school years I waited patiently for everyone to grow up and grow out of that pressure to take cues from everyone else and to fit in with everyone else. At midlife, I am seriously considering that maybe the real, unspoken point was for those of us who didn't "fit in" to realize that we were "supposed" to learn how to fit in, and to hide whatever about ourselves persistently did not "fit in."

Peer pressure, in this light, is not a mere adolescent phase but an essential element of our culture and the institutions of our society.

Think about it.

And then decide if that's what you really want to see, and to be, in the world.